Actual Newspaper Headlines

Don't blame me, blame the editors! The sort of thing that Jay Leno would love ...

• Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
• Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
• Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
• Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
• Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Eye Drops Off Shelf
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
• Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
• Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
• Deer Kill 17,000
• Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
• Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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