Actual Doctors’ Notes on Patient Charts

This just goes to prove that doctors (and other health care providers) are people too ...

  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
  • She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
  • The patient refused an autopsy.
  • The patient has no past history of suicides.
  • Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • She is numb from her toes down.

  • While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
  • Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
  • The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
  • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
  • Pakeokd kplmnbf is fjehsgf fhfhly wesvkling.

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Posted by traymond on 06/30 at 08:18 PM in Doctor jokes

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