Bill Clinton dreams of the gates of Heaven

So, what will happen when Bill Clinton approaches the heavenly gates?

One night, former president Bill Clinton dreamed that he had died, and approached the Pearly Gates of Heaven. After knocking at the gates, St. Peter appeared. “Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter.

“It’s me, Bill Clinton.”

“And what do you want?” asked St. Peter.

“I want to enter Heaven!” replied Clinton.

“So,” pondered Peter. “What bad things did you do on earth?”

Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale. I guess I committed adultery and had extra-marital sex with multiple women. But you shouldn’t hold that against me because they weren’t really ‘sexual relations.’ And I lied, but I didn’t commit perjury.”

After several moments of deliberation, St. Peter replied, “Well, then, here’s what we will do: We’ll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won’t call it ‘Hell’. You’ll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won’t call it ‘eternity’. And don’t ‘abandon all hope’ upon entering, just don’t hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.”

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