Fathers Day - from the 18th to the 21st century

How fatherhood has changed from the 1900's to the present day - and how Father's Day really hasn't changed all that much.

• In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
  Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.
• In 1900, a father’s horsepower referred to his horses.
  Today, it’s the size of his minivan—and if it has a hemi.
• In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.
  Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.
• In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
  Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, cut the umbilical cord and make sure to capture the “birthing experience” on digital video.
• In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
  Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were buck naked during a blizzard.
• In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
  Today, fathers pray that their children will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.
• In 1900, fathers pined for the old country—Romania, Italy, or Russia.
  Today, fathers pine for the old country—Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Buck Owens.
• In 1900, a father smoked a pipe.
  If he were to try that today, he would be sent outside after a stern lecture on lung cancer.
• In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.”
  Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”
• In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children seated at the supper table.
  Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge.”
• In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.
  Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”
• In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the child was all smiles.
  Today, a father spends a month’s salary at Toys ‘R’ Us, and the child whines “I wanted Sega!”
• In 1900, if a father had breakfast in bed, it was eggs and bacon and ham and potatoes.
  Today, it’s Special K, soy milk, dry toast and a lecture on cholesterol.  And fiber.  And heart-health.  And …
• In 1900, a Father’s Day gift would be a hand tool.
  Today, he’ll get a digital organizer.
• In 1900, fathers said, “A man’s home is his castle.”
  Today, they say, “Welcome to the money pit.”
• In 1900, “a good day at the market” meant Father brought home feed for the horses.
  Today, “a good day at the market” means Dad got in early on an IPO.
• In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.
  Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys from Ronald McDonald’s.
• In 1900, a father was involved if he spanked the child for bad behavior on occasion.
  Today, a father’s involved only if he coaches Little League and organizes Boy Scouts and car pools.  And “spankings” are investigated by Social Services.
• In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.
  Today, kids glance up and grunt, “Dad, you’re invading my space.”
• In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suitors with shotguns if the girl came home late.
  This hasn’t changed.
• In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.
  Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.
• In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.
  In 2001, fathers are never truly appreciated.

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