Funny movie quotes from the Three Stooges in ‘We Want Our Mummy’

Funny movie quotes from a classic Three Stooges short film, 'We Want our Mummy' -- starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard

Vernon Dent: Now we’ll never find the missing king.
Curly: [pulls a King of Diamonds out of his pocket] How did you know the king was missing?

---

Vernon Dent: You leave immediately for Cairo.
Curly: I have an uncle who lives in Cairo.  He’s a Cairo-practor.

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Curly: Well, I reckon since there’s no other place around the place, this must be the place, I reckon.

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Larry: That’s a mirij.
Moe: A mirij is what you see yourself in; that’s a mirage.
Curly: A mirage is what you keep your car in.

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Curly: After all of that running, we’re still in the same place.
Moe: Okay, wise guy, you lead.
Curly: But I ...
Moe: Get going.
Curly: I’ll go when I’m ready.
Moe: Are you ready?
Curly: I’m ready.  Follow me.

---

[discovering the mummy, Pharaoh Rootentooten]
Moe: He’s the real McCoy!
Larry: McCoy?  I thought his name was Rootintootin!

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Larry: [to Curly] When they find out you killed the mummy, they’ll kill us!

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Curly: C’mon, Rootin-Tootin old kid! Heh heh! Whoever crowned you king?

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Moe: I got an idea, we’ll make a mummy out of you.
Curly: I can’t be a mummy, I’m a daddy!
Larry: All right so you’ll be a daddy-mummy.
Curly: Oh! That’s different.

---

Moe: Weigh the anchor!
Curly: Forty-two pounds!

---

Professor Tuttle: That wasn’t King Ruten-Tuten! That was his wife, Queen Hatsi-Tatsi! This is Ruten-Tuten! He was a midget!

---

Dr. Crowell: That means we’ll never find the missing king!
Curly: [looks surprised, takes card out of his front pocket] How did YOU know the king was missing?
[Moe turns his head to look]
Curly: I… Ooh!
[hides card before Moe can see]
Moe: Oh, so you’re the one, eh? That’s how you won my thirteen cents!
[smacks Curly]

---

Moe: [looking through telescope toward Egyptian desert, but with Larry’s head in the way] We’re coming to a jungle. I can see the underbrush! And camels walkin’ through it! No no, they’re octopus!
Larry: I don’t see anything!
Moe: [notices that he was looking at Larry’s hair] You will!
[hits Larry with the telescope]

---

Thug: [in tomb, with Curly laying on a table dressed up as King Rutin-Tutin] Hey, where are those jewels that are supposed to be buried with them?
Thug in Museum Basement: Oh, they always wrap ‘em up inside the mummy. We’ll have to cut him open.
[with thugs looking away, Curly cringes, and unzips the front of his mummy costume]
Thug in Museum Basement: Let me have that sharp knife you have there.
[looks at “Rutin-Tutin”]
Thug in Museum Basement: He’s burst open!
[reaches inside Curly’s costume, pulls out newspaper]
Thug in Museum Basement: “Yanks win world series.” Can you beat that?
Curly: Yeah, and I won five bucks!
Thug in Museum Basement: No kidding? I had the Cubs, and… WHAT?

---

Dr. Crowell: Gentlemen, you’re hired. We’re sending you to bring back the mummy of King Rutin-Tutin, you leave immediately for Cairo.
Curly: Say I got an uncle in Cairo, he’s a chriopracter. NYUK NYUK NYUK!
[Moe punches him in the nose]

---

Museum Curator: And if you are successul, we will pay you 5000 dollars.
Dr. Crowell: The recovery of the mummy will prove of untold value to science.
Moe: For science!
Larry: For science!
Curly: For 5000 bucks!

---

Moe: [the Stooges find a sign post in the desert showing the locations of Cairo and Tunis] Oh, boy we’re nearly in Cairo. The tomb oughtta be around here someplace.
Curly: I’ve gotta go to Tunis and then we can have tuna sandwiches for lunch.
[Moe slaps him]
Curly: Oh!
Moe: [what looks like the tomb of Rootin Tootin] Hey, he’s the real McCoy!
Larry: McCoy, I thought his name was Rootin Tootin.
[Moe raises his fist at Larry]
Curly: Hey fellas, I found it.
Larry: Found what?
Curly: A tisket a tasket,
[holds up a basket]
Curly: that green and yellow basket. NYUK NYUK NYUK NYUK!
[Moe gives him an open hand shove in the face]
Curly: Oh!
[Staggers back into a well]
Curly: WOOOOOOOOOOOAH!
[Hits the bottom with a splash and gets Moe and Larry wet]

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