Messages from actual church signs
Taken from signs in front of actual churches in the U.S.A.
- No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace.
- Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!
- Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
- Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
- An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.
- When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, Open Sundays, the church reciprocated with its own message: We are open on Sundays, too.
- Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one!
- A singing group called The Resurrection was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, The Resurrection is postponed.
- People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
- God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
- Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
- When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.
- Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.
- Fight truth decay-study the Bible daily.
- How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?
- Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives
- Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
- Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children.
- It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
- Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
- If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
- If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.
- Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
- This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? ---> (U R)
- Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
- In the dark? Follow the Son.
- Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
- If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
Posted by traymond on 07/21 at 07:07 PM in Church and God jokesThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://www.bestcleanfunnyjokes.info/index.php/trackback/968/DJyIhkfr/
Trackbacks:
No trackbacks yet.Comments:
No comments yet. Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.Next entry: Church and deer hunting season
Previous entry: The minister and the mike cord