Signs Star Trek Is Taking Over Your Life

If you recognize yourself in this list, slowly back away from the TV (and Tivo, and DVD player, and VHS ...), open the door, go outside and realize that there's more to life than Star Trek.

1. Saying “make it so” in casual conversation
2. Indignation because the periodic table doesn’t include dilithium and tritanium.
3. Able to use “variable phase invertor” in a sentence without excessive thought first
4. More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer
5. Have figured out the stardate system
6. Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra
7. Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol
8. The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams
9. Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and “The Omega Glory”
10. Memorization of the crew’s authorization codes
11. Forgetting that present-day elevators don’t have voice interface

12. Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments
13. Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint 14. Understanding Klingon
14. Lecturing any science professor on how transporters work
15. Playing fizzbin and understanding it
16. “The Outrageous Okona” seems like a fine piece of writing and dramatic stylistics
17. Paying rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in Star Trek:The Motion Picture
18. Inexplicable rock-climbing urges
19. More than three original episode outlines buried in your drawers

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