Star Trek - Why did the chicken cross the road?

Various Star Trek characters answer the burning question, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

• Neelix: Actually, Captain, I’m not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.
• Worf: I don’t know. Klingon chickens do not cross roads.
• Holographic Doctor: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn’t even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
• Dr. Crusher: If there’s nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
• Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
• Odo: I don’t know, but I’m sure it must be Quark’s fault.
  Quark: Who, me?
• Charlie X: Because it didn’t want to STAY...STAY...STAY…
• Troi: I feel the chicken’s pain!
• Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

• Bones: Dammit, I’m a doctor, not an ornithologist!
• Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.
• The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
• Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!
• B’Elanna: I’m sure it felt suffocated by all the stupid regulations of stupid Starfleet and just couldn’t stand it any longer!
• Q: Wouldn’t you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn’t be able to comprehend the answer.
• Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
• Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken…
• Harry: I don’t know, it’s my first mission.
• Paris: Well, I think that...say, that’s a lovely shirt you’re wearing.
• Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don’t remember any chicken. No no no, there’s been a terrible misunderstanding.
• Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.
• V’Ger: To join with the Creator.
• The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don’t cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!
• Gul Dukat: Well, that’s a very interesting question...I’m sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone’s satisfaction.
• Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!
• O’Brien: No problem, Commander, I’ll get right on it.
• Wesley: I’m not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and…
• Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we’ve learned from all this?
  Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!
• Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.
• Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I’m sure wouldn’t have had a clue, and then there’s…
• Tuvok: That’s not a question we’d prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.
• Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.

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