The Grumbling Clown
A very old joke (1786, in fact!) with a very funny punchline - and a point about grumbling, to boot
Beneath an oak a rustick clown
Lay lounging in the shade,
Complaining loud of Fortune’s gifts,
And call’d her—partial jade.
The works of Providence were wrong,
And bad was all in sight;
He knew some things were wrong contriv’d
And he could set them right.
“For instance,” cries the grumbling churl,
“Behold this sturdy tree;
“Remark the little things it bears,
“And what disparity!
“Again--observe yon pumpkins grow,
“And see! the stalks show small!
“Unable to support their fruit,
“So bulky are they all!
“Now, I, if I had power to do’t,
“Would alter thus the case:
“That this large tree should pumpkins bear,
“And acorns take their place.”
He spoke; and, rising on his breech,
Strait from the tree fell down
An acorn of the smaller size,
And pitch’d upon his crown.
“Now,” says a trav’ller, who had heard
“The whole the clown had said,
“Suppose the tree had pumpkins borne,
“What would have sav’d thy head?”